Why is fear a liar? Well it almost kept me from riding my dirt bike on a difficult trail in the hills of Southern Utah last weekend. I read the All Trails report and it declared that the trial was rated for "ADVANCED RIDERS" and that it had "Technical" areas with exposed Cliffsides. 

My brothers were there and have more riding experience than I do. They were the ones pushing the issue as I was just ok with putting around on the flat open spaces of BLM land close by. Staying way inside my comfort zone was the plan.  Well it wasn't long until we pulled up to the trailhead of the the Toquerville Twister.  I forgot to mention that this would be my first time riding a single track trail on my new KTM 350.  I was beyond nervous. All I could think about was all the bad that could happen. Would I fall to my death off one of the cliffs? Crash and break my leg? Wreck my brand new bike? Bad thoughts ran unbridled in my head. 

The sounds of the 2 stroke bike my brother was riding was the lead bike. Then the other KTM my younger brother was riding. Adam was on his Husqvarna and I took the rear position. I felt comfortable there because I could watch what the other riders were doing and the lines they were taking. We had a few really steep climbs with a step up at the top. You either committed and throttled up or else you were going back down with the help of gravity and a free falling motorcycle to boot! The adrenaline rush was crazy for about 5 hours. Needless to say we had a few close calls but all and all it was a near perfect day. I had to swallow my pride and walk the bike up some sections but others I just pinned the throttle and closed my eyes praying for the best! The final 5 miles of the ride were flowy dirt trails and amazing scenery! We finally ended up at the Toquerville Falls. That is pretty much the end of the ride. It was such a fun day, and had I listened to fear I wouldn't have experienced that beautiful day with my best friend and brothers. I learned that day that I can ride a dirt bike, not like a pro, but good enough. Fear is a Liar. 

In recovery we need to experience new things, new passions, also reignite old ones.  What makes you uncomfortable and helps you grow? Seek that daily. The pure rush of adrenaline and that feeling of accomplishing something hard is better than any high I've ever had. It actually made my spirit whole and didn't leave me feeling empty like drugs or alcohol.